This is more of a personal post … I’ll be writing about my goals, and financial finagling that I’ll have to do in the new year to make my back to school a reality.

The past week has been a complete blur, with some truly amazing moments, and some really scary ones.

Let’s start with the really amazing ones.

Last Wednesday, I had the privilege of doing a 9k trail run with a group of six ultrarunner men. These men eat marathons for breakfast. They have run (and won) Boston, Badwater, Leadville, and all the runs that make you want to crawl into fetal position. The Salomon store at Don Mills was hosting a Solstice run, with their elite athlete Ryan Barrett running the trails literally from dusk til dawn. Sarah, my running partner, wanted to join in for the first loop, and I was definitely up for the challenge. Unfortunately, Sarah was delayed and we had to set out without her.  With a headlamp strapped firmly to my forehead, I ran misty trails alongside ultrarunning champions, chatting about my upcoming Ironman, and they shared some memorable moments from their own overnight races. It was incredible and surreal. I was invited to do more loops, but I simply didn’t have it in me.  Next time, gentlemen.

On Friday, I went Christmas shopping in Campbellford Ontario.  At the town’s only coffeehouse, I asked for directions to a store, and three locals chimed in with their own version of how to get there, most ending with “you can’t miss it.”  In a town with a population that can’t be more than ten thousand, “you can’t miss it” is a consistent theme. I spent approximately $100 on gifts, which was a lot more than what I was planning on spending, but everyone loved their presents and it was worth it.

On Saturday, Christmas Eve, I helped my mom prepare for Christmas Day by cleaning. With six cats and a dog, it involved a helluva lot of vacuuming. That night, we were invited to the neighbour’s farm for goodies and drinks. This is one of those sad moments; our neighbour’s lost their daughter this year when she was hit and killed as she was walking. She would have been 17.  Even worse, she left behind a twin brother. Sadness still radiated from each of the surviving family members.

Christmas Day was lovely. Mom and Dad gifted me with a humidifier (yippee! I desperately needed one!) as well as groceries and items I detest buying but always need, like Kleenex boxes. After a fabulous afternoon and Christmas dinner with my dad’s side of the family and maternal grandparents, I climbed in my car and hit the road for Montreal.

Here is where it gets really scary. My car doesn’t have snow tires, because they’re frankly too expensive. I can’t justify forking out several hundred dollars for tires that will only be used for four months, in addition to the cost of having them installed.

When I set out, the snow was falling steadily, and the roads were awful. However, I was assured that once I got to the 401, it would be raining.  Which it was, until around Kingston, which is less than halfway from my house to Quebec. The snow started up again, and it was out for blood. From Kingston to Brockville, I was travelling approximately 50km/hr, tops. I had the four way flashers on as cars with snow tires raced past me.  Big rig truck drivers booked it past me, missing my car by what must have been only a few feet.

Just outside of Brockville, the car that I had been following began to swerve.  Since I had been using the car as a guide for where the road even was, my hands jerked out of reflex.  As the car in front of me corrected itself, I began fishtailing wildly, swerving through snow and ice with the wheels spinning madly. Suddenly, I saw headlights. How…? What…? Oh. My. God. I am facing oncoming traffic on the highway. Luckily, there were few cars behind me and they still had a ways to go before they reached me, so I sidled the car up against the concrete barrier, as my hands shook uncontrollably.

In another stroke of luck, an OPP officer had been about one minute behind me, and without wasting a moment, he threw on his lights and came to my assistance. This wonderful officer made sure that I was okay, and assessed my car (no damage or collision). He asked if I wanted him to turn my car around for me. I gratefully accepted. So, he got me to sit in the driver’s seat of his cruiser as he did a three point turn in the middle of the highway. From his seat, I watched how poorly my wheels gripped the snow. It was horrifying.

He advised me to go to Brockville and get a hotel, it wasn’t worth it to keep going.  Out of sheer stubbornness, I decided to try to make it to Montreal.  15 minutes later, I panicked and called in the cavalry.  The snow kept falling, it was pitch black and isolated, and I was going at 40km/hr. I drove for another hour and a half before pulling off at the Morrisburg On Route service station, desperate for a bathroom and a coffee. I then waited to be rescued by my boyfriend and his dad, who insisted I complete the trip with them instead of staying the night at a hotel.

Ah, my knights in shining snow tires.

I only had to wait about half an hour before they arrived. We left my car in the parking lot, transferred my luggage and presents to their Volvo (outfitted in top of the line snow tires) and had a safe trip to Montreal. I was exhausted, scared, and aghast at how the outcome could have been drastically different.

In the end, I had a wonderful vacation with my boyfriend and his family. Exciting news: this Canada Goose is flying south in February.  My bf’s present to me is a five day trip to Florida, to visit his brother, go to the beach, and hit up the Harry Potter theme park. I am SO thrilled!

On Boxing Day evening, we held hands and skated in the Old Ports of Montreal, trying to synchronize our strides as the speakers blared Viennese waltz in the background. It was a fantastic double date with our Australian friends, who have adapted to Canadian winters even better than I have.

Hard to believe that 24 hours earlier, I had been in the pits of Hell.

I’m back at work tomorrow, and since it’s going to be a complete write-off, I’ll be looking into correspondence courses which will help me with a second teachable. I’m going to call my alma mater’s registrar office, and they’ll help me make sure that I get the courses that I need. I’ll also research other one to two year degrees from colleges in fields such as journalism, publishing, etc.

It’s a LOT of work. But it’ll be worth it in the end, of that I am certain.

What were some of your highlights to the holidays?  Ever had a scary winter driving experience?

La Belle Province ... Montreal, Je T'aime!

FacebookGoogle ReaderEmailShare

Oh, November.  Not only are you bitterly cold without the prettiness of fall leaves or the loveliness of new-fallen snow, you also financially blow.  The only redeeming factor of November is that it is my birthday month.  I turn 24 years old on Saturday. 

Just how badly has November sucked? Well, it’s time to pay the piper on pretty much every major, unavoidable expense that has been coming down the pipline for the past thirty days.  My credit card bill is a whopping $1,593.00.  Meanwhile, I have about $80 left in my chequing, $300 in my savings. My next two weekly paycheques have to go entirely  towards my rent and car insurance. My visa bill is due November 30th. Can we say FML?

How the heck could I let this spiral out of control, you may ask? Well, as aforementioned, pretty much all of this has been unavoidable.

The dentist cost $365 for an oral examination and two cavity fillings.

My Ironman enrollment wound up costing $220. No way that I wasn’t going to pay for that.

I bought a digital recording device to use for writing projects. I’ve been interviewing some first hand witnesses for a book that I’m eventually planning on writing. Since my notes look like chicken scratch, I wanted a digital recording of their testimony. That set me back $95, since the store only had the nice Sony brand available.

My car needed to be serviced and inspected for the winter. I opted for a 15 point inspection, since I wanted everything to be running beautifully before entering the season of ick. That cost $105.

I forgot about having to pay for webhosting. Money Rabbit is officially a year old as of Friday. So Blue Host added a charge of $112 straight to my credit card. This seems a little high, and I may transfer web hosts next year, since I have just paid for the entire year in advance.

I enrolled in my half marathon clinic. $80.

I enrolled in a 5k on New Years Eve, which cost $61.  This may seem a little frivolous, given my current financial situation, but the run comes with a free winter running jacket, and I plan on using it to run all season.  It’s also very special because the BF has signed up to do it with me.  He’s not a runner, and every time I mention running he grimaces, but he wanted to enroll to prove that he could do it if he put his mind to it. I’m so incredibly proud of him.

Ah.  Last but not least, my couch.  My incredibly generous and lovely parents gave me a budget of $750.00 to buy a couch as a joint birthday/Christmas gift. I started getting antsy with my smelly old couch (it literally does smell), and I wanted the purchase to coincide with my birthday, especially since I am having a party on the 26th. The couch I fell in love with was $799.00. When you factor in taxes, and an additional sealing treatment, the final bill was $924.00

Oh, and I still need to get my car rustproofed, and buy winter mats.  It desperately needs to be detailed (the fabric and carpets are covered in salt-stains from last year and the whole thing is kind of gross) but that’ll have to wait until spring. I also will owe $98 for my cell and internet, which will be debited from my account on November 23.

BARF.

Strangely, I’m pretty calm. Even though I’ve been meticulously poring over spreadsheets and tables, I’m resigned to the situation. I wrote a post on Rabbit on the Run about how my state of mind has improved since exercising.

I also have been excellent at controlling my expenses.  We went down to Buffalo and upstate New York this weekend, and I was St. Marianne of the Church of Not-Spending. Even though we stopped at an insanely discounted outlet mall and they had incredible stuff, I didn’t spend a cent. My only purchases were food (my God, America is the King of huge portions for cheap), gas and lodging, which I will owe to my BF since we put everything on one card to be divvied up later. Even at duty free, I passed over half price alcohol and perfumes, and instead acted as shopping consultant.

Frugalistas may criticize me for taking a trip, or for buying a couch new instead of used. Was enrolling in a half marathon clinic and 5k really that necessary?

Truthfully, I won’t be able to pay off the entirety of  my bill before the due date, but I’ll be able to cover 75%. I’ll be able to pay it in full as of December 2nd. 

This experience has scared me so much that I am NEVER doing it again. I had anticipated a good bonus at the beginning of this month that would have allowed me to pay off the bill in full, while leaving a little extra for cushioning and savings.  Obviously, that didn’t happen.  I’ll instead be receiving the money December 9th.

Moral of the story:

  • Sometimes you get smacked with unavoidable expenses (medical, transportation, education, etc.)
  • In these situations, it is incredibly important to have an emergency fund.
  • Cars suck. They are expensive money-pits that belch your precious dollars into filthy exhaust fumes. Starting January 1st, 2012, I’m going to be putting aside $40 a month into a car-specific savings account, so that all future expenses like detailing, maintenance, etc. are paid for.
  • Don’t spend more than what you earn, regardless of if you’re “sure” of a bonus or windfall.

FacebookGoogle ReaderEmailShare

I’ve never been the biggest fan of budgeting with a spreadsheet. I have a numeric, freakishly good memory that allows me to remember exact figures, dates and times. So I’ve always kept my spreadsheet in my head – I instantly know my bank account’s balance, I know what bill is coming out when, and I’m able to quickly tabulate any updates.

Unfortunately, for November, I’m relying heavily on an excel spreadsheet.

I was anticipating a nice bonus this month – about $400 on top of my normal pay.  However, because the deals that closed came right at the end of the month, I saw our bookkeeper’s spreadsheet, and I will actually be receiving this amount in the first week of December instead. That means my November bonus will be closer to $125. Although I really shouldn’t complain about receiving additional money, the problem is that I’m on a salary/bonus split. I am supposed to make $42,000 per year, TOTAL. I need that amount in order to pay all my bills, and to be able to put a little bit away into my savings and RRSP. My monthly salary reflects a $38,000 per year pay, with bonuses expected to make up the difference. So when I need an extra $4,000 per year to get by, and I only receive $125 bonus for the month, that’s a problem. Especially when I need to have my cavities filled, renew my license plate (since it’s my birthday on the 19th!), and have my car rustproofed. Gawd.

So I sat down and drafted a full excel spreadsheet, with my anticipated income and anticipated expenses. Because it’s going to be so tight, I needed to actually see the ebb and flow on paper (well, on a screen at least). Now I just have to stick to it, and be as militaristic as I can.

The good news in this is that in December, I’ll have a lovely $600 bonus coming my way, and I’m hoping for a Christmas bonus. The not-so-good news is that it means yet another month of watching my bank account with baited breath. I know have $150 biweekly being diverted into my savings account, and I refuse to sacrifice this. At present, I only have $300 in there, and that makes me incredibly nervous. I’m hoping to have it up to at least $1000 by January 1st, 2012.

I have to be patient, and give myself a little credit for being ahead of the game.  I’m 24 years old, with a fully paid off car, large one bedroom apartment, and a decent RRSP. However, being ahead of “the game” doesn’t mean that I’m kicking butt, it simply means I’m not laden with consumer or student debt like many other twenty-somethings. I am starting to mentally hold myself up against people with extremely high financial acumen, like Krystal Yee or the folks at Canadian Dream: Free at 45. For my age, sure, I’m doing pretty great. But the aforementioned writers prove that I can be doing even better if I strap down, stick to the spreadsheet, and weather the storm through tough months like this one.

I wonder how many posts I’ll write in which I say, “I only have to make it until ___________.  Then it’ll all be better.”

I am sincerely looking forward to the day when I realize that I’ll never have to write that again. Is such a thing possible?

FacebookGoogle ReaderEmailShare

That is the date that I have been given by the Muskoka 70.3 Ironman officials.  Registration will be in the next few weeks.

I have a confession to make; I am absolutely terrified.  As in,  just thinking of September 9th gives me the same racing heartbeat and feeling of dread that I get when I watch ghost movies, and that’s saying something.

I’ve taken a look at the course – turns out 90k is an awfully long way to cycle. No ipods are allowed. If I get a flat tire I’ll be expected to do my own repair on the side of the road. My bike will definitely have to be a road bike. I’ll have to buy and not rent a wetsuit, as I’ll be swimming in September water, and I’ll want to start practicing in May to get used to frigid temperatures.  Because I DON’T want to go into hypothermic shock the way I did during the Give it a Tri.

So if you see some nutjob in a wetsuit in Lake Ontario in May 2012, odds are that it’s me.

The sheer mental, physical, nutritional, and financial preparation that is going to have to go into this is HUGE.  Beyond anything that I’ve ever undertaken before. Is it going to be worth it?  HELLS yes. Am I going to kick its ass?  You can bet your bottom dollar YES.

Am I so scared right now that there has been a pit of fear in my stomach ever since I found out the date?  … yes.

So what do I have to do to get ‘er done?

Right now, I’m breaking it down into sections.  I need to reach certain physical and nutritional levels before I even start worrying about equipment or learning how to change tires. I can wait until March or April for purchasing wetsuits, helmets, fuel belts, etc. 

For now, this is my breakdown:

-Currently have out several books on marathons and triathlons, currently reading “The Marathon Method” by Tom Holland.

-Going to try to work the following schedule: Monday Strength Training Tuesday Run for 1hr Wednesday Strength Training Thursday Run for 1hr Friday  Strength Training Saturday Run for 1.5-2hrs Sunday Swim.

-Go as close to full Paleo diet as I can

-Start swimming at least once per week.  The community centre across the street from me has free lane swims, including on the weekends.  I took a look at the pool and it looks to be about 30m. I’ll have to do 60 laps in order to simulate the swim in the lake, which will be in open frigid water.

This is where my jaw dropped

Once spring rolls around, I have two definite things that I need to get done, which are: a) Complete the Goodlife Half Marathon, and b) Go on a long distance cycling trip every other weekend, constituting 100k+.

It’s going to be expensive.  Absolutely.  Getting a wetsuit, training equipment, probably new shoes, staying in a hotel the night of the event, etc. is probably going to set me back about $1000.  However, this is offset by a couple of things. The first is that I’m paying off my car loan in full tomorrow (detailed post to come). The second is that I am investing in my health.  I am adding time onto my lifespan. The third is that pride is priceless.  If I can learn to focus on an event with such determination and grit that I can achieve something completely out of my comfort zone, then it’s worth every penny.

My mom was afraid when I was going on and on about training that I was going to turn wafer thin and instead become extremely unhealthy.  However, when I was home this weekend, she confided that I looked good, and perhaps this wasn’t so loony after all.

The Ironman motto is Pain is Temporary, Pride is Forever.

I can add in, Money will come and go, but the money I invest in accomplishing this feat will live forever as a proud memory.

FacebookGoogle ReaderEmailShare

I’m about one week away from finishing my social hiatus, and the experience has been remarkably informative. I started this hiatus after Frenchie noticed that several of my supposed “close” friendships appeared to be, at least from an outsider’s perspective, extremely toxic. He noticed this right away, before things even started falling apart, at a dinner I invited him to. I’m ashamed to say that when he pointed this out to me, I got pretty emotional, realizing that he was bang on. When he left for his trip, I vowed to take a break, to sort out my thoughts, and to figure out which friendships were the most respectful and beneficial.

Of their own accord, things started sorting themselves out. My new neighbours down the street have visited periodically, and these women are some of the sweetest human beings on the planet. They are warm, gracious, and carry a peacefulness inside of them that I am looking forward to duplicating in my own being. Whenever I visit, within minutes I’m being offered tea, food, and a place to sit. They are encouraging, loving and supportive.  They literally glow with kindness.

This is awesome. I have a great deal to learn from them.

Meanwhile, I’ll be the first to admit that I have made some major mistakes and screw ups with old friendships two months ago. I won’t get into it, but obviously, I hurt some feelings and wounded some pride, completely unnecessarily. I apologized profusely, and offered gifts as a peace offering. Does it make up for what I did? No. Am I the equivalent of the Wicked Witch of the West?  No, I made a mistake. I can’t defend what I did, but I don’t want to walk around feeling ashamed for the rest of my life either. I’m moving on.

Your time is an asset; who you spend your time worrying about and thinking of and carrying for, matters. I was so distracted and guilty last month that I almost ran a red light, putting myself and others in danger. Today, it happened again (the guilty feelings, prompted by a comment, not the reckless driving). My whole day feels like it’s been thrown off kilter. I take it especially hard because it’s from someone who I used to trust and love. Do I deserve it? Quite possibly. But certainly not on an ongoing basis.

When you spend time on the things that matter, and with people who matter, you feel good, positive, and inspired. Your asset (time) is used to its utmost and reaps steady gains, personally and professionally. When you spend time procrastinating, or worrying about people who are wanting to one-up you in some capacity, your lifestyle depreciates. You feel dejected/jealous/unproductive/miserable, which is never healthy over the long term.  So even though it logically makes sense to spend time with the people and things that you care about, it’s so easy to feel addicted to that guilt and unhappiness that some people propagate in your life (well, at least I’ve been feeling that way).

Moving forward, I will only be making efforts to spend time with the people who make me feel good and happy. If another friendship is ever jeopardized, I’ll of course do my best to rescue it, but I’ll also try to recognize if it’s a natural ending of a relationship. Friends can break up with me too, and it doesn’t make them bad people.

Tonight, I’m making myself a big dinner, exercising, and continuing the decorating and cleaning of my apartment.  This weekend I’m going to a barbecue with a group of people who make me smile, and who care about me (and I them).

I wish the lessons I had learned hadn’t had the cost that they’ve had; but that’s all it is.  A wish.

Lesson learned: spend time with people who you love and who love you back, regardless of how badly you screw up. Otherwise, move on. Spend time doing things that you love, and that bring you joy and satisfaction.  Otherwise, move on.

You need to empty your life of the negative to fill it with something positive.  But until then, I’m hoping I won’t feel too empty.

(P.S.  Jack, I missed you immensely today. It really sunk in that you’re not coming back. I want to say goodbye to you this Saturday but I’m stuck in a triathlon…but you’ll be in my thoughts every stroke and step that I take).

FacebookGoogle ReaderEmailShare

I was in my car, parking just outside of my office, when I heard the news.  At first I couldn’t believe it, and for a few moments I just sat completely still, shocked, hoping that it was a mistake.

Jack Layton died of cancer this morning at 4:45am.  And, like so many other Canadians, I am completely devastated.

I don’t care what party you vote for, or where your beliefs lie, this man’s passion and love for Canada and its people transcended all political boundaries.

Usually I’m exceptionally wordy. Friends have complained that they don’t read my blog anymore because I yak too much.  This is one of those rare instances in which words are completely failing me. As a left-wing voter, and a young woman who was inspired by Jack’s ability to ignite change and incite action, I am speechless.

Tonight, my friend Laura and I went for a run to prepare ourselves for the triathlon that is happening this Saturday, and we ran by his house. We stopped, and joined the crowd of 20 or so people who had gathered out front to pay their respects.  I snapped the photo on the right to do my best to capture the sorrow and public grieving. There were so many heaps of flowers and cards, that when a gentleman came from the house, he could barely get out the front door.  He thanked us for coming, and said that the family couldn’t come out to greet us, as they were in mourning, but they were so grateful for us being there.

I wrote in a book that was being passed around.  I thanked Jack for his dedication and steadfastness, and promised him to keep up the fight for social justice, though it would be hard to see without his brilliant orange glow leading the way.

Writing this now is making me well up again…correction, I am crying. Not nearly as bad as when I heard the impromptu singing of O Canada on the news, taking place live at the vigil downtown.  That sent me over the edge.

I never met Jack Layton in person, but I was so excited for him to take up the mantle of Leader of the Opposition.  On Election Night, I called my friend who is a longtime supporter of the NDP, and in her elated (inebriated) state, she informed me that she was going to sew a bright orange cape with sequins that he could wear as Leader, to kick ass and take names in.  She was so happy for the changes that Jack was going to make.

Our country lost a brilliant visionary who cared deeply for the people he served.

Goodbye, Jack.  Although you’ve left a gaping hole in the political landscape, no one can deny how you shaped the future of this country, and showed us what determination combined with empathy and compassion can do for the world.  It’s been less than 24 hours and I miss you already. My heart is filled with sorrow, and resolution to continue your fight for an uplifted and enlightened society.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

FacebookGoogle ReaderEmailShare

According to Mint.com, I have spent over $7,000 this month.  Whoa, what?  But when I break down the costs and see where it all went, it was use for mostly necessary expenses, with several hundred spent on unnecessary things like birthday dinners, movies, etc.

Just to break it down, here is a (selected) list of items detailing what my cost of moving has been, to date:

-$150 in gift certificates to the LCBO for the people I couchsurfed with for four weeks

-$50 gift certificate to my recruiter who landed me this awesome job

-$87 to rent a cube van for the day

-$1894 for first and last month’s rent

-$529 for half month’s rent, since I moved in July 15

-$50 for refundable key fob deposit

-$1,049 for new Sealy Queen mattress and dust cover

-$227 for a year’s worth of tenant’s insurance, paid upfront

-$179 miscellaneous items from Zellers, including shower curtain, bath mat, cleaning supplies, refreshing drinks for my moving team

-$120 for IKEA bookshelves (bought off of Craigslist, would have cost $230+tax brand new, and they’re in great condition)

-$40 for antique dresser

-$20 to ex-boyfriend who helped me pick up all the items, to cover his gas

There were many other small expenses that added up, hitting the dollar store for supplies, home depot, eating out while I still didn’t have my own kitchen.

This is also just the financial cost – the emotional cost has been stress, friendships, and difficult sleep-deprived days at the office.

All of this in addition to my normal monthly expenses of car (approx $650+ per month), cell phone, groceries, entertainment, and other necessities (for example, I desperately needed a wheel alignment, which cost $124).  I need to buy a new bike since mine sucks and I have my triathlon in just under a month.  I don’t know if I’m going to be able to, not until my savings account is topped up again to at least $2500. 

Well, I don't know about that...

I also haven’t paid the piper yet for my Canada Day long weekend trip to Algonquin. But, as of next week, my credit card will be paid off in full, and I don’t owe any rent money until September 1st. I’ve informed my part-time writing job boss (who is honestly so awesome, really cool lady) that I’m willing and able to take on any projects she wants to throw my way. I still have about $1800 in my emergency fund, and with the exception of a new couch, I don’t have any major expenses for finishing up my apartment. I anticipate that, including a new couch, it’ll take me another $1000 to finish up the apartment, but I’m not in a rush. I have all my necessities, I can wait for the rest. Again, I am hesitant to furnish too much, but I could ALWAYS sell everything off if I really needed to, and at this point it makes more sense to pay to move everything to wherever I end up next instead of buying new all over again.

In addition, most of my decor is going to be done on the cheap/homemade. My art on the wall is going to be pressed flowers that I plucked in the Don Valley on one of my many bike trips. The table on the balcony will be picked up from Value Village, and I’ll turn it into a beautiful mosaic table. I’m going to sand and repaint my dresser with distressing techniques to make it look shabby chic. I’m sewing my rocking chair’s slipcovers and throw pillows with fabric that I’ll pick up from Queen West. So even though I’m investing a lot of time, it won’t turn out to be a lot of money, and the apartment will be purely “me.”

As the Frenchman, always the banker, says: money comes and goes.  Just enjoy it in the moment. If it goes away, it’ll be back.

Still. Even though I’m trying to not get stressed, I’ll be looking forward to my next few paycheques, and to a stabilized “normal” month, so I can draw up a new budget accordingly. It sucks to burn through so much money so quickly, especially because it doesn’t even feel like I’ve spent a cent.

Big thanks to my parents who came, brought me a ton of beautiful furniture from home, and help me set myself up.  Also big thanks to the people who helped me move, from start to finish.  You know who you are.

P.S. Fitness update – my arms are getting mega sculpted.  BF called me a tank yesterday and wasn’t being sarcastic.  I’ll be posting (headless) before and after shots, but they are going to be dramatic!

P.P.S.  I just added this in, but the lovely Vikki Vansickle, who I am proud to have had the opportunity to speak with and become friends with, addressed city council this morning at 4am (waiting over 18 hours to be heard for 3 minutes), only to have His Worship Mayor Ford say the following comment under his breath, that really has to be heard to be believed.  You be the judge.  

FacebookGoogle ReaderEmailShare

Yesterday, I officially quit my job.  I’ll still be doing one more week to help train my replacement, but I basically told the truth; I don’t see myself continuing on in the real estate industry.  I embellished a little further and said some of it was augmented by health/family issues (both of which are true … are they hindering my career, no, but it does side-step a lot of the awkward questions).  I figured it was better to do that then to tell the truth, that she basically destroyed my living arrangements and made me absolutely gut-wrenchingly unhappy and stressed.

The Boss was super sweet, which was unnerving.  She patted a large pile of paper next to her and said, “It’s a shame, I had this pile of leads started for you.  Oh well.”  That didn’t phase me at all, as IF I could even believe her.  I even got a text to my phone after (because she had to run out right after I told her) saying “I won’t be done until late tonight but if u don’t have plans pick a place for dinner and we’ll chat ….. Pick wherever u like my treat.”  I told her I had plans starting at 8 but could do dinner before that (I want to keep things civil), to which she responded that she’d only be free after 10pm.

Note to bosses everywhere:  your employees do not want to have dinner with you after 10pm on a Friday night, especially not after they have given you their notice.  I told her I had my plans.

I feel a little nervous for my replacement – she has no experience in real estate and considering that my boss is rarely in the office, this new gal is genuinely unhappy at the prospect of receiving next to no training, aside from what I can provide before I finish.  I’ve been in the industry for nearly two years now, and so even though I’m trying to avoid too much terminology, it’s almost impossible.  I think she may be planning her exit strategy too, which sucks, because she has only had one day.

I do have an offer on the table to work for a new build condo sales office in two or three weeks. The CEO of the company said his lowest-paid salesperson made over $100,000 last year.  It’d be between 20-25 hours a week, he said.  However, if that was all there was to it, I’d LOVE to know why the field isn’t flooded with agents trying to work these jobs, to only work 20-25hrs per week and to be making six figures.  I figure I’ll go in, interview for it, and see what my feeling is.  A lot of the salespeople in these offices are shiny, happy people.  The ones with the perfect hair and the boobs that are just a bit too perky (cough implants cough).  I’m a farm-girl personality who happens to prefer living in the city.  I get easily frustrated with people like that, especially because conversations with them never evolves past whether salmon or chicken breast has more saturated fat. 

I think real estate takes a certain kind of personality.  I can love people and houses and properties until the cows come home, but until I’m comfortable with slapping my face on a bus shelter and handing out fridge magnets with my email on it, it’s the wrong field.  I have no interest in marketing myself as a product.  There are some incredible agents in this city, and I’d be happy to give referrals to anyone who is looking for someone awesome to represent them, but honestly?  I didn’t want to remain in the industry past the age of 30 anyways.

So what did all of this cost me? 

Well, it was about $1500 to take all three of my courses to become licensed.

It cost about $3000 to pay my RECO first time registration, insurance, and TREB dues.

There was the $440 surprise bill plunked on my desk for additional semi-annual TREB dues, back in January.

Were I to stay, I’d owe an additional $800 for the remainder of my TREB dues (it’s weird, you basically owe $1200 a year in dues, but they divide it up 33/66). 

What I’ve paid so far in professional/licensing fees alone:  $4,940.

On top of this, the entire reason I bought my car was for this career, so you can lump on $15,000 + interest for the car, $2500 for insurance, and $1000 for gas. 

The GOOD news is that throughout all of this, my networth has pretty much remained even.  When I arrived in Toronto, I had a networth of approximately $22,000.  That number is now closer to $24,000.  So after 2 years of incredibly hard work, I’ve only managed to add $2,000 to my networth.  However, that includes four months of initial unemployment, and close to $14,000 so far in professional costs (including vehicle costs).  I can’t feel bad about this.  I chose a career path, committed to it, shelled out the necessary costs, and it didn’t work out for me.  If I were to stay, I’d have to pay an additional $1,500 to finish up my articling period.        

No thanks.

I’m spending some time with family over the next little while, trying to relax and get my life back on track.  I have a couple of recruiters who are looking on my behalf, and I’m prepared to accept temp work, what have you.  I’ve texted/emailed several awesome people who may have good connections, and I’m remaining very optimistic.  I’ve never gone willingly into unemployment, except for my move to Toronto, and it’s a very very strange feeling.  Liberating, too.

Money wise, I am still just as dedicated about reaching my financial goals, I’m just going to take a different route.  I’m still aiming to invest in my first property before or during the age of 25.  I’d like it to be a house, preferably.  My investopedia account is amazing – I’ll be writing a review about it this week, but it has bolstered my confidence in investing in the stock market.  I’m going to save, save, save.  And I WILL find the right niche for me, I just know it.  If I hadn’t have tried real estate, I would have always wished I had.  Now that I can cross that off my list, it’s on to a bigger and brighter career. 

Onwards!

FacebookGoogle ReaderEmailShare

The last time I was unemployed was the summer of 2009.  I had just moved to the city of Toronto and was convinced I’d easily find a $30,000 a year position in arts administration.  After all, I had passion and smarts, and I had won some awards from my drama department, which meant I was obviously a smarty pants and hireable.

Fast forward to August 2009.  I was officially employed, but working two part time jobs, one at a real estate company doing reception, and the other at the front desk of a fitness club.  I had burned right through the emergency fund that I had established, buying couches and curtains for my shiny new apartment, and felt completely miserable.  I didn’t work for four years at university to work two part time jobs?!

Two years later and I’m about to venture into the same position I was in May 2009.  Essentially, my boss has gotten me to bring in a replacement starting Friday, and she wants to finally transfer over my real estate license TOMORROW ($350 reinstatement fee), and take me off of salary starting Monday to do sales full time with her.

That would be all well and good.  My goal in this industry was to eventually do sales.  If only I knew that I could TRUST her.

Exhibit A:  being promised a salary of $45,000 after our first meeting, and then at our second meeting when we finalize things, she changes it to $25,000+ promised leads, which would give me (apparently) an annual amount of $90,000+.  We did not sign a contract.  I don’t even get my license back until over two months later, since she didn’t want me to transfer over my license until her new brokerage was ready.  To make up for it, she offers to “pay me as much as my old job did,” BUT after I received my paycheque I ran the numbers, she was still short by several thousand.

Exhibit B:  Telling me I should buy that condo, and getting agitated when I didn’t/couldn’t afford to rent it.  I would only be able to carry that condo based on a down payment/deposit of $20,000, plus monthly payments of $1,400.  What she DIDN’T tell me is that at this building there is an assignment fee on top of each transaction for $3,000.  I would have been completely bankrupted.  She also told me that I made a huge mistake with not renting the condo, even though my budget of $1,000 was somehow skewed into $1,300+.

Exhibit C: Feeling it was appropriate to sit me down after moving out of my own apartment onto a friend’s couch to tell me that she thought my work would suffer because I had made the mistake of not taking the condo.  After I had been hit by three migraines in the middle of the move.  After I put my friendships through the strain of filling up their living room with my junk.  After I had lost sleep over trying to figure out where to put my car.  After I put my relationship with the Frenchman through a trial by taking up his parking space with my car.  After I drove one of her clients to Warden and Finch in Scarborough without reimbursing me for the gas.

Exhibit D: Dropping the eff bomb harder and faster than a hail storm when screaming at her current Buying agent.

So I had to look at my return on investment (ROI).  But in this case, I am looking at myself as an investment, not the money.

If I were to stay, starting Monday, I would be without a salary, and essentially giving my time and energy to my boss who would then, in theory, give me leads and people to work with.  If I could tolerate staying for another month, there is a small possibility that I could maybe close some rental deals, which would give me maybe $500 after tax, since I’d have to give her half as a referral fee.  However, anything that closed after I left would not belong to me, and I would not be able to take any of my current business with me if I left either.  Part of that money would also have to go towards my gas that I would be using in order to drive said clients to the rentals.

Essentially, I’d be working for free.  Which works out to me paying her to work, since I’d have to drive my car to get there (gas and parking), I’d be spending my days doing what she told (the expense of my time), and taking whatever verbal assault she felt like dishing out that day (the expense of my emotions).  It would be a bigger loss and expense for me to keep working than it would be for me to be unemployed.

So that’s what I’m doing.  As of tomorrow afternoon, I’m done, and I doubt I’ll be past there since Friday since my replacement is already booked to come in anyways.  I’m not looking forward to quitting, especially because I have NEVER entered into a situation where the job was so bad that I couldn’t just hold on until I found something better.  This is the first time I’ve been willingly unemployed, with the exception of when I graduated and had to move to a new city.  I’m intimidated about quitting because I want to make sure that I get paid, and my parking reimbursed.

Plus, quitting by definition makes me feel like a quitter.  Like I haven’t tried hard enough.  Like I should have done more.  One of my friends has criticized me for leaving, but honestly, I have to listen to my gut.

I have a job interview scheduled, and I also have spoken to both of my recruiters, and one is willing to find me temp work while I continue my search.  Honestly, I feel so chewed up by the real estate industry that I think I may continue on as an investor, but not an agent.  It’s a tough business, and requires a certain type of personality.  I will always be passionate about houses and people, but frankly, you need more than just that to survive.  I am still just as ambitious and hardworking as before, I may just need to shift my game plan for how I’m going to achieve my success.

Oh, and the Frenchman and I are now officially going exclusive.  So we’re an item.  I don’t know if he’s my “boyfriend” yet per se, but I asked this morning if we were all steady and stuff, and he said yeah.  Awwwwwwwww.

Someone get me my dog collar, I has my fellow

FacebookGoogle ReaderEmailShare

FML.

I need some help from my readers to help me make a decision.

Here is the gist of my situation:  my dream job turned out to be considerably less dreamy than I thought.  I haven’t had my real estate license for the past seven weeks because my boss wanted me to start with her new brokerage instead of her old one.  She told me it would be a couple of weeks, max.  So I’ve just been hanging around the office.  But I haven’t been given any tasks, so I just sit here all day, trying not to feel like I’m wasting anyone’s time and money.  When my boss does show up, I get so nervous about doing the right thing that I just screw up, so I look completely incompetent.  If I have questions and she’s not in the office, she doesn’t answer her phone, she prefers that I never send her emails, and she doesn’t respond to texts.

Meanwhile, I can really only afford this condo if I’m trading in real estate, like I was promised I would be.  Considering how badly everything has been going, I’ve been feeling less and less confident about taking on the responsibility of renting this condo.  Unfortunately, my old apartment has a new tenant as of Sunday.

Today, I asked my boss how parking is going to work for my new unit.  She told me initially that I could just use visitor’s parking, or one of the parking spaces for her other units.  Only after I asked today did she inform me that all the spaces were taken (“I can’t screw over all my clients just to get you a deal”), and I could not actually use the visitor’s parking.  I then said, look, I can’t afford $1000 a month plus hydro plus $125 a month parking, to which she shrugged and said “not my problem.”

Um.  Okay.  I officially have less than five days to vacate my apartment.

I no longer feel comfortable taking this condo (which I have a deposit on for first and last month’s rent, and $250 for the keys.  I’ve been told I can easily get that back).

I have nowhere to live.

Luckily, my two best gfs are taking me in.  We have been friends since university, and I am insanely grateful.  We’re going to chat things over and figure out what I can do for my next steps.

Here’s where the big decision comes into play:

She and I sat down, and she told me that it wasn’t my problem that I wasn’t doing anything during the days, if there was something she expected me to do she’d tell me.  She also told me she didn’t think I understood what it took to be successful and that she thinks that I think it must just be a cakewalk for her and the other agents.   I told her I’ve shown up every day at the office prepared to work, have stayed late when necessary, and and am ready to work and do what it takes to be successful.

My boss told me she can have someone new come into the office and take over what I’ve been doing if I go purely into sales.  She’ll give me clients and leads as promised, but she expects me to work 24/7 and sacrifice any and all social engagements.  No friends, family, anything, and I have to do everything exactly as she tells me.   I asked for the evening to think everything over.

Frankly, I’m so exhausted about everything here.  I’m not going to be moving to Liberty Village (and I was SO excited), I’ve been sitting on my ass for seven weeks, and I’d finally be getting leads and clients but at the cost of my salary and all of my social life, as well as autocracy.  I love my friends and family dearly – they are who keep me grounded, and who take care of me when shit like this happens.  There has been a consistent lack of communication, and I have a hard time respecting someone who is so busy she can’t take ten minutes to sit down with her own employee.

I’m essentially stuck couchsurfing for the next two months with my best friend.

Here is my choice – Do I:

a) Keep working at my job but in sales.  Work my ass off, try to make a go of it.  Learn as best I can, work with clients and leads, do everything my boss tells me to do.  Probably make decent money.

b)  Quit, but stay in the industry somehow, try and find a different position with a different brokerage

c)  Quit, and leave the industry, try and find something else that can utilize my skills.

I genuinely don’t know.  I thought I really liked my industry but I couldn’t honestly see myself working as a realtor beyond the age of 30.  There are just too many realtors I know who are burned into exhaustion on a daily basis, and who don’t seem to enjoy any of the wealth that their career has brought them.

I just don’t know what else I could do – I’d be interested in working in finance, journalism, arts administration, not-for-profits, but I have no defined career goal.  Real Estate was supposed to be “it” for me until I found my purpose.

I want to keep my car – it has meant independence and mobility for me, and I have funnelled so much energy in trying to keep it that I want to fight to hold on.

With the deposit back, I’d have about $6000 in my emergency fund plus another $500 in my chequing.  I could just not work for a couple of months and try to figure things out.  But then what?

I’m going to be fine, I just know it, but I need some input, stat.  Help!?!?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
FacebookGoogle ReaderEmailShare

Analytics Plugin created by Web Hosting