The last time I was unemployed was the summer of 2009.  I had just moved to the city of Toronto and was convinced I’d easily find a $30,000 a year position in arts administration.  After all, I had passion and smarts, and I had won some awards from my drama department, which meant I was obviously a smarty pants and hireable.

Fast forward to August 2009.  I was officially employed, but working two part time jobs, one at a real estate company doing reception, and the other at the front desk of a fitness club.  I had burned right through the emergency fund that I had established, buying couches and curtains for my shiny new apartment, and felt completely miserable.  I didn’t work for four years at university to work two part time jobs?!

Two years later and I’m about to venture into the same position I was in May 2009.  Essentially, my boss has gotten me to bring in a replacement starting Friday, and she wants to finally transfer over my real estate license TOMORROW ($350 reinstatement fee), and take me off of salary starting Monday to do sales full time with her.

That would be all well and good.  My goal in this industry was to eventually do sales.  If only I knew that I could TRUST her.

Exhibit A:  being promised a salary of $45,000 after our first meeting, and then at our second meeting when we finalize things, she changes it to $25,000+ promised leads, which would give me (apparently) an annual amount of $90,000+.  We did not sign a contract.  I don’t even get my license back until over two months later, since she didn’t want me to transfer over my license until her new brokerage was ready.  To make up for it, she offers to “pay me as much as my old job did,” BUT after I received my paycheque I ran the numbers, she was still short by several thousand.

Exhibit B:  Telling me I should buy that condo, and getting agitated when I didn’t/couldn’t afford to rent it.  I would only be able to carry that condo based on a down payment/deposit of $20,000, plus monthly payments of $1,400.  What she DIDN’T tell me is that at this building there is an assignment fee on top of each transaction for $3,000.  I would have been completely bankrupted.  She also told me that I made a huge mistake with not renting the condo, even though my budget of $1,000 was somehow skewed into $1,300+.

Exhibit C: Feeling it was appropriate to sit me down after moving out of my own apartment onto a friend’s couch to tell me that she thought my work would suffer because I had made the mistake of not taking the condo.  After I had been hit by three migraines in the middle of the move.  After I put my friendships through the strain of filling up their living room with my junk.  After I had lost sleep over trying to figure out where to put my car.  After I put my relationship with the Frenchman through a trial by taking up his parking space with my car.  After I drove one of her clients to Warden and Finch in Scarborough without reimbursing me for the gas.

Exhibit D: Dropping the eff bomb harder and faster than a hail storm when screaming at her current Buying agent.

So I had to look at my return on investment (ROI).  But in this case, I am looking at myself as an investment, not the money.

If I were to stay, starting Monday, I would be without a salary, and essentially giving my time and energy to my boss who would then, in theory, give me leads and people to work with.  If I could tolerate staying for another month, there is a small possibility that I could maybe close some rental deals, which would give me maybe $500 after tax, since I’d have to give her half as a referral fee.  However, anything that closed after I left would not belong to me, and I would not be able to take any of my current business with me if I left either.  Part of that money would also have to go towards my gas that I would be using in order to drive said clients to the rentals.

Essentially, I’d be working for free.  Which works out to me paying her to work, since I’d have to drive my car to get there (gas and parking), I’d be spending my days doing what she told (the expense of my time), and taking whatever verbal assault she felt like dishing out that day (the expense of my emotions).  It would be a bigger loss and expense for me to keep working than it would be for me to be unemployed.

So that’s what I’m doing.  As of tomorrow afternoon, I’m done, and I doubt I’ll be past there since Friday since my replacement is already booked to come in anyways.  I’m not looking forward to quitting, especially because I have NEVER entered into a situation where the job was so bad that I couldn’t just hold on until I found something better.  This is the first time I’ve been willingly unemployed, with the exception of when I graduated and had to move to a new city.  I’m intimidated about quitting because I want to make sure that I get paid, and my parking reimbursed.

Plus, quitting by definition makes me feel like a quitter.  Like I haven’t tried hard enough.  Like I should have done more.  One of my friends has criticized me for leaving, but honestly, I have to listen to my gut.

I have a job interview scheduled, and I also have spoken to both of my recruiters, and one is willing to find me temp work while I continue my search.  Honestly, I feel so chewed up by the real estate industry that I think I may continue on as an investor, but not an agent.  It’s a tough business, and requires a certain type of personality.  I will always be passionate about houses and people, but frankly, you need more than just that to survive.  I am still just as ambitious and hardworking as before, I may just need to shift my game plan for how I’m going to achieve my success.

Oh, and the Frenchman and I are now officially going exclusive.  So we’re an item.  I don’t know if he’s my “boyfriend” yet per se, but I asked this morning if we were all steady and stuff, and he said yeah.  Awwwwwwwww.

Someone get me my dog collar, I has my fellow